Apocalaypse - An Ork's Prespective

 Hey! Des Humies don know wut dez blabbering 'bout.
So der we were tryin' ta git a good Waaagh! goin' (Almost Waagh'd right there talkin bout it), lookin' for de humies so as to git a good fight. We found 'em all hidin' in city shiverin' with a buncha bogs outside. Dems humies is scared of de bogs, we guessin, cause dey weren't out fighting de bogs like humies should be doin', instead dey was just hiding in the city ('cause dey were scared of de bogs). So we went up to squish the bogs, but they was smart bogs and tough bogs. 'Specially that big brainy bog. Dat was a smart bog. It was a good fight, but dem humies still afraid to come out, and dey kept firin' and missin' ('tween you and me, I fink it was aweful nice of dem to imitate orkz like dat, but dey's humies, dey don't know how to do it right)
Now, I will talk about their artillerties, big booms comin' from de sky nothin' new to da boyz, ya hear a boom comin' from the sky, you hide behinds somefin. A rock, a burned out tank, the guy next ta ya, but dese humies be using stuff that blow up and don't let you hide behind stuffs, specially dat big tank that shoulda fell into the river. It was funny to watch it shoot itself. I nearly wet meself on dat one.
De fight wiff de bogs was a hard one. Dey had one bog that kept makin' lil' bogs, and den de brain bog and the crawly bog. But Dat brain bog, it was all getting better by eatin' de brains of da boyz (which ya'd think as a brain bog, dat wood hurt it), so we aimed a cannon at it and shot it good, and it exploded and covered everythin' in brainz.
So, since the humies wouldn't come out to play, we went in to play, and dey was rabble rubbish. Me own Nobz ran though a buncha big humie termies like nuffin. No good fight dere! So dey started going into de buildings as all de humies paniced and started shooting at dem. All of dem! Dey kept runnin' away! So, Dok Badcut kept healin' up the nobz, but the humies kept firing! Finally, dem cowerdly humies went used the big cannon to kill the boyz! They didn't, just gave them a good scare as dey ran away. I mean, if you saw dat thing shooting at you, you'd run too! But dem humies kept shooting ol' Badcut, and they finally got him down, but not out. We got him backs, and fixed him all up! Dem humies can't do anyfin right!

So, we find buncha humies in our back yard, and they're all 'we gonna take objeteve!" or sumfin like dat. I don't know what an objeteve is. I was lookin' 'round for a jet but couldn't see ones so I thought it was a mini jet or somefin so we went after it. Lootas shoots de dakka at dem, and dey killed a buncha grots, but dey didn't know we hatez grots anyway. But den a Deff Dread came up for a fight with a whole marine squad, and dem humies, dey burned good but in de end, they didn't even hit dat dread at all! Humies!
So, we all went to da bulidng dey were going into, looking around for the jet dey was looking for when all the sudden de left over bogs and de humies all started pileing into da building too! Everybody wanted dat jet!
In de end, it was a good fight against de bogs, but dem humies, we ain't goin' after dem again. Betta fights is out der for de takin. Mostly bogs!
- Boss Deffolla

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